


Pile of Regrets

by sweatyfiction



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 104th Training Corps - Freeform, Angst, Emotional Baggage, Gen, Headcanon, Post-Rumbling (Shingeki no Kyojin), Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan References, levihan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:47:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29475714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweatyfiction/pseuds/sweatyfiction
Summary: Hey! This fic was originally posted on my Tumblr account and I decided to post it here too. This work was originally inspired by that fanart where there was a drawer filled with bloody badges from the cloaks of Levi's dead comrades and I felt emotional as soon as I saw it so I decided to write about it! Please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments so I know if I'm cut out in writing angst lol
Relationships: Levi & Hange Zoë, Levi/Hange Zoë
Kudos: 39





	Pile of Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This fic was originally posted on my Tumblr account and I decided to post it here too. This work was originally inspired by that fanart where there was a drawer filled with bloody badges from the cloaks of Levi's dead comrades and I felt emotional as soon as I saw it so I decided to write about it! Please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments so I know if I'm cut out in writing angst lol

...Post war, Levi was on his way back to Paradis along with the people who survived. Among these survivors are Mikasa, Armin, Jean and Connie. They found another flying boat which helped them to go back to the harbor where they took off earlier. The view from the sky should look amazing, with the blue sea, green lands and tall trees. But their view was the complete opposite. Corpses, broken houses and a flat, burning terrain was seen.

They landed on the harbor and they were preparing for their next trip when Levi remembered everything that happened. He remembered his conversation with his shitty-glasses.

_“You understand..”_

_“It’s my turn.”_

_“So just let me go? Will you?”_

Their words were still fresh from his memory and it hurts. He kept hearing, it kept repeating until the words felt like ringing to his ear. He took a deep breath and walked to another vehicle when he stumbled upon a green cloak on the ground. He looked at it as his eyes widened upon seeing the “Wings of Freedom” badge. He cannot be mistaken. This was Hanji’s.

The pain he felt got worse as he knelt down on one knee and picked up the green cloak.

**“You really are stubborn, four-eyes.”** Levi’s voice cracked as he was fighting the tears that were threatening to roll down his cheek. But to no avail, the tear found it’s own way down his left cheek, causing his scar to sting as he flinched.

**“Captain! The vehicle is ready.** ” Jean said, with no life in his eyes. Perhaps, he was mourning at the loss of comrades. Levi was mourning too. But he has seen far more abnormal things, but the pain he was feeling right now was unfathomable.

_

They were now back to the island. The once called devils were mourning the loss of the majority of humanity. The rest of the Survey Corps marched with heads down as they reached the headquarters. The scent of the bricked walls sent a feeling of sentimentality.

**“We’re back. But without everyone.”** Mikasa was almost crying.

**“We still need to keep moving forward.”** Levi said in his usual stern and authoritative voice. But deep inside, he was also breaking. He misses everyone.

He went inside the headquarters, straight to his room. The mahogany color of his table was covered in thin dust while he saw cobwebs lingering in his bookshelf. He decided to clean his room, a distraction from the present pain he was feeling.

As he was cleaning the bookshelf, he stumbled upon the book, the book a former comrade, friend and confidant used to teach him how to read and write when he rose from the underground. He felt another sharp pang in his chest as he carried to book to his table. He opened it and took a single key to unlock his drawer. This was the very drawer he does not let anyone open, other than him. But maybe there was an exception, it was Hanji. Happened that she picked the lock and saw what was inside when they insisted on opening it. It was a pile of the badges from the green cloaks of his dead comrades.

Everytime they take a loss from expeditions, Levi always cuts the badge from their cloaks and keeps it. He stores the badges he collected to keep the memories from his fallen comrades. A reminder that they existed, lived and served their purpose for humanity. Erwin, Farlan, Isabel, Oluo, and the rest of his squad; their badges were all there.

He took out the bloody and burnt badge from his pocket and placed it on top. His heart felt like it was about to find its way to his throat as he was starting to struggle in maintaining his composure. He looked up, before he could even cry and gripped on the feather duster he was holding with his left hand.

**“I’m sorry i couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry I could not save you and tell you to stay. I understand, that’s why I let you go.”** as a tear rolled down his cheek.

**“Are you all still watching me? Are you guys having fun there? I bet Hanji is still as talkative as ever, no? I’m alive, are you all proud of me?** ” He said before closing the drawer, leaving his cleaning materials and leaving his room.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed <3


End file.
